& amidst how lost and confused i feel about school and life in general, you still make me feel like the luckiest girl on earth whenever you're around ♡(-‿‿-)♡ (and i feel so gay saying this oh man i have turned into one of those girls i always cringed at).  Thank you for always taking out time to meet and pamper me and put up with my nonsense, you are doing 10/10 well for someone who is so sleep deprived AND has to still deal with me - i love you so very much!1!!! It still surprises me how it's only been a mere....... 12 weeks?! It feels like a loOOoong time has passed, not that time with you passes by very slowly with you cuz in fact weekends don't even feel adequate ((how is it possible to want to be around someone this much!!! hALp i sound so clingy)) (((but i'm not psychotic clingy, i promise HAHAHA))))

Haven't written properly here in ages and i honestly feel that i've lost the hang of it all already, LOL. tbh i feel like i lost the hang of (school) life as well it just feels very... unmanageable and unexciting at the moment; but then again, i always feel this way every time i'm about to graduate -cues angsty sec 3 rants about ahs lolol- which leads to me thinking i'll end up nowhere in life and worry incessantly. Very fortunately most of the time i'm blessed enough to be never stuck in much of rut in the end, hopefully this time round it turns out well... or okay because okay is fine with me too #wth #noambitionmax. Sometimes i wish i was born with an attitude as fierce as my horoscope suggests, but instead i'm just soft and very accepting of whatever situation i'm in loOooolOololol; and most of the time i manage to plunge myself into situations i grow to question year(s) later on. aiya 

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 “If you can’t beat fear, just do it scared.”

*repeats to self non-stop and hopefully not have a self induced mental breakdown

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An entire module has ended and i still feel unprepared for school?!??! I feel like my attitude in school now is n0/10 and honestly i've never abhorred going to school this much. Everyday i'm just waiting to return home the moment i lock my doors and i cannot really figure out why since i've never, ever in my 17 years and 10 months of living, hated school (maybe a subject, but never school in general). Also feel like i'm doing a really shitty job/rly badly lmao, unsure if not confident, or really shitty at everything i do LOL #joke but then again, even if i went to jc i would have thought this way as well - and feel just as (if not more) lousy/lost/unmotivated/burntout what have you 

(also why did i choose design again)

((don't even rly feel i was made for this))

(((it's way too late to bail i know i'll suck it up)))

((((but still!11!!!))))