“I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.” 

`` 

“Let me tell you what I do know: I am more than one thing, and not all of those things are good. The truth is complicated. It’s two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet. I used to think that if I dug deep enough to discover something sad and ugly, I’d know it was something true. Now I’m trying to dig deeper.”

``

| "1. It may be exhausting but you can put on Oscar worthy acting performances for days, weeks or even months at a time, pretending to be okay with people and things that are actually stressing you out & driving you crazy. You’re basically a super dedicated, unpaid method actor.

2. Giving attitude here and there is a survival mechanism you use to avoid exploding. It’s a way of slightly sedating a potential blow up temporarily. Think of it like slowly unscrewing the cap of a soda so the carbonation doesn’t cause a massive, fizzy mess and overflow out of the bottle.

(...)

9. Innocent bystanders and undeserving individuals are at risk when you finally reach your boiling point. They aren’t the cause of your frustration, but get the brunt of the punishment. For example, one of your co-workers is excessively rude to you for three months straight and you deal with it, then one day another co-worker asks to borrow your stapler and you’re like, “SERIOUSLY??! SURE, COME OVER HERE TO USE MY STAPLER BECAUSE IT’S SO HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR OWN OFFICE SUPPLIES AND I’M THE ONLY ONE WITH A DAMN STAPLER AROUND HERE. STAPLE AWAY, DUDE. LAST TIME I CHECKED I’M NOT AN OFFICE DEPOT. THE LAKERS DON’T PLAY BASKETBALL INSIDE OF ME SO I’M NOT THE STAPLES CENTER! WHY DOESN’T DAD EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO CALL?… I mean…Whatever, just use the stapler and go away.”"

``

March doesn't have much for me

but here is some anyway:

(vividly remember this was the day i got rejected by a clinic and it made me so mad ugh)

``

 Met up with Jia, Yixuan and Kianyong and discussed bible study in my horrid broomstick-hair after work

   

 

``

Purple at work and purple out of work hahahah; One with Buddy the corgi and one when i finally went for the check up that frustrated and troubled me for the whole week. Totally gave up opting for polyclinics so i just went to the airport lmao and i don't even need to submit the xray itself zz waste my time and money

 

``

Thank goodness for Luffy because she makes me feel better instantly everytime i see her

 

    

 

``

``

Hazy days + a drink from Kyushu that totally sucked bleurgh

 

lol ~pale~ 

``

AHBand concert!!! Still kinda miss having 4k around

 

  

 

 

 

I miss my deskm8s :-(

 

Vainest group ever:

 

 

 

 

``

At this point i got very frustrated with my neither green nor blue dead-af-hair and attempted washing the dyes out everyday so i could dye it black and just let it........ grow and forget i have hair lulz. This is my hair in lemongrass bathsalts (because apparently bath salts draw out blue/green dye the most effectively) and ah well, bath salts are supposedly calming as well so why not

 

 

sun sun sunny days

``

    

 

LOL too funny not to share look at how ridiculous she looks with the largest float we have; it usually fits full-grown golden retrievers perfectly HAHAHAH

 

 

Quite an interesting day at work because 

1) Got to bring Luffy out across to eat with us while we wait for him to pick her up and i have never seen so many grown men walk so far away from a dog. Like everybody flat out refused to get close to us (and even more so when she barked) but she was so chill idek HAHAHAH. Meet Luffy, the most misunderstood gentle giant.

2) Realised the new coffee shop at Lorong L totally sucks. Don't even consider it. The food is so awful T_T 

 

3) Got treated ice cream, met Yixiu and got temporary tattoos because i couldn't resist nautical TTs

 

 

``

Will we go alone out on our own

Oh, darling, what's to become of us

//

Funny some people stay some disappear

``

AH carnival

  

missed this

 

Taking tons of pictures so each of us can insta one HAHAHAH

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

The haze totally ruined my tanah merah plants.... and a #nofilter sky photo that turned out surprisingly good for my S2

 

i need some alone time and nobody seems to want to allow that to happen

and good gracious i discovered a new pet peeve: i absolutely hate it when people say i angsty all the time like half the time i'm not even angry at most people even when i am the brunt of the joke like 24/7 and i never get to be angry and when i do flare up i get blamed for being on my period good gracious i hate being a girl. If i had a super power i'd make bloody pads appear on the ground and it'll be far too late to do anything after people step on it :@

i'm so tired of having to be a cheerful sunflower can i please stay at home and be moss instead

lol getting real tired of people
or maybe
i am just tired