“I am not happy. I am not unhappy. I am frozen somewhere in the middle that is so much worse. 
I am nowhere. Nothing is happening and I am getting more and more sad.”
``
I think it is true that city people are perpetually upset over something, anything or nothing; i wish i was back in the countryside where everything is simple and people didn't ruin anything. Surprisingly i am much more idle in the city than the countryside although everything here is about speed. I need some fresh air this place is suffocating me. Everything here is so... stale, so stagnant. Even the stars pale in comparison because of the glaring city lights. There is no silence here, not even at 3am cause right now i hear a truck downstairs. Is everyone up worrying about things and downing coffee? What are people doing driving now anyway? I'd rather the sound of roosters cawing at 4am. I miss the cold crisp air. I guess all i can do is miss these things. What an ungrateful teen i am. From a very non-suicidal point of view, everything is so meaningless to me right now and i cannot find any purpose in/reason to continue doing anything or even breathing.