"I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger."

3 more papers to freed-........ lessons.... 

then prelims 2..... then midyears.........

then prelims 3..... /4? then mock exams... then Os

i should have realised the only break i will get this year is after november.

Everything feels so stagnant now and i feel as if we are stuck in a phase;  we will never move on or move away wtf. This feeling sucks. Also, because seasons never ever change in Singapore, i will never feel like i can have a fresh start or a new chance at things. Lol is this the mid life crisis people who work hard all their lives face. And if we feel it now, does it mean we will never have a mid life crisis again; since we're screwing up, "not being serious about anything", taking risks and having fun. Collecting chinese Os results tomorrow and we're going to witness the seniors receiving their results as well. How will this end i wonder... they worked so hard. Meh, am so used to failing math i am starting to doubt if i will ever pass it. It's not even like i am used to it cause my entire class is failing with me and it is ~ok~ , it is just me sigh pie! Why can't our education system ever focus on languages instead. Why am i wasting my time here jeez.

I want to move away so bad.

.must.continue.to.study.hard.